SELF CARE IS NOT BATH SALTS AND CANDLES

Sadly, our society has officially messed up the meaning of self-care. If you don’t believe me just do a quick image search. Beautifully filtered photos of organic hand-poured soy candles, impeccably decorated acai bowls, and perfectly posed women in their bikinis sipping bubbly at a lavish spa will stare back at you already making you question whether your life is worth living at all if it doesn’t look like that. 🙄

Of course, we all want (even need?!) a spa day followed by a glass of champagne every now and then. But let’s call a spade a spade. First of all, that’s often unrealistic due to resources – both time and money – and second of all, that’s not self-care. That’s a relaxing day, a retreat, an escape. I’m not saying it’s not nice 😊 🥂.

I for one truly appreciate beauty in all forms and therefore a sucker for aesthetics and visually pleasing images 🙋🏼‍♀️ … yet we need to understand that true self-care is NOT bath salts and chocolate.

True self-care is making the conscious choice to build a life you don’t need to regularly escape from. True self-care is establishing simple, habitual actions that create balance and health in your life. This has many aspects: mental, emotional, physical, environmental, spiritual, recreational and social.

True-self care involves making hard choices to establish boundaries. It is recognising your value and your worth, and knowing when to put yourself first. Not to mention recognising that what might be relaxing momentarily isn’t always nurturing long-term.

Fake self-care keeps us looking outward—comparing ourselves with others or striving for a certain type of perfection.

Real self-care, in contrast, is an internal, self-reflective process that involves making difficult decisions in line with our values, and when we practice it, we shift our relationships and maybe even our broken systems.

Here are some signs that you're actually taking care of yourself :

• You stop making excuses for people and see them for who they really are

• You recognise toxic behaviour and no longer tolerate it (including toxic positivity!)

• You ignore gossip and no longer deal with drama

• You show yourself as much compassion as you would a good friend

• You no longer hide your authentic self, even if you are apprehensive as to how you will be perceived by others

• You no longer seek validation from others

• You no longer engage in superficial connections

• You are comfortable with discomfort

• You no longer let fear hold you back

• You are comfortable spending time on your own

• You set your boundaries based on your values and honour them / you make choices that align with your values

• You call yourself out on your own bs

• You realise you have unresolved trauma and work hard to process it

• Your friendship circle may get smaller but you can truly rely on the people in it

#selfcare #realselfcare #lookingafteryourself #boundaries #healthyboundaries #healthychoices #wellbeing #mentalhealth #emotionalwellbeing #authenticliving #therapy #counselling #counsellingpsychology #ramsbottombusiness